You asked for stories, here is my small one -
After nearly a baker's dozen years of fully awakened "kundalini" by accident, crippling, life-threatening, devastating, obliterating, I visited a devotee of Muktananda upstate to see about an adjustment to my permanent state of meditation-type consciousness. This was in order to be able to sleep, and be awake during the day, not halfway to either.
He suggested I chant "OM NAMAH SHIVAYA", and gave me his CD, which was in the same zone as my state I wanted to alter ! So I decided to search the internet for another version more to my liking, and I found Babaji, not knowing who he was. On the photos page, I opened one picture so it was larger, and suddenly became inspired to dance.
Immediately I stood up, and began to chant and dance in a circle with ecstasy, and could not stop for an hour, I was so enraptured ! What a great soul, I thought, right on the same wavelength!
Since that day, that moment, between the dance and my helpful Muktananda fan who pointed me to Babaji, I have slept wonderfully ! All day I am alert, and able to read books again after many years of not being able to focus. Naturally that is important for an Architect, especially one with her own practice and in New York City too!
That's all, there is more,
but I hope you enjoy good news !

Thanks again,
Elizabeth

I was looking for a way to express my experience with Baba but I didn't know how. Now I found this web-site! I'm Kitty; a 37 years-old woman from The Netherlands. My first experience with an ashram was the Baba-ji ashram in Loenen. A friend took me there on my birthday when Shastriji was there too. We stayed in the ashram for several days. It was a beautiful experience 'cause I came with a lot of pain over the fact that that my boyfriend and I just seperated. It was amazing how I could feel the strong pain slip away in a few days while being in the ashram; singing mantra's , participating in the rituals. I felt a strong recognition and attraction towards the Indian culture and religion and the most logical explenation was a vague memory of a former life in India. This experience changed me completely and although I wasn't ignorant on the spiritual path; the ashram opened another doar in my unconsciousness.

Last year I went to India . I didn't visit Baba's ashram but I went to the South to volunteer in a holistic retreat and travelled through Kerala, and Tamil_Nadu. I was in Thiruvannamallai where I did spend time with a family. They lived close to the Ramanashram. From day one I felt the urge to talk about Baba-ji to them. They had a very special sun who was only 8 years old. He reminded me of Baba. I can't say why but as well in appearance as in his wizdom he reminded me strongly! He spoak about illusion/ reality, the end of the world, atomic wars etcetera; and this for a small child! He was also testing me in various ways. The father told me that although he never spoak about Baba-ji with the child he knew Baba too and that when he held his child as a baby he couldn't stop thinking of the fact that the child reminded him of Baba-ji. the funny thing is that he wasn't a devotee. He was talking a lot more about the teachings of Ramanah Maharshi!!

In that same period I met a young man who looked like the spitting image of Baba-ji. One day we planned to go out together. He told me to close my eyes and think of a place. I told him that I wanted to go to the back of Ramanashram where the young cow's where. He took me there and we where sitting down. I felt a strong attraction towards him but he was following the path of meditation and didn't mingle with women.(if you remember that he looked like the spitting image of the young Baba you might be able to have some understanding for my weakness!) When we where just sitting down with the cows a sadhu walkes straight towards us and looked seriously. He said that he was the last living relative of Ramanah Maharshi and that we shouldn't be interested in familylife or just to fall in love but follow the path of devotion. My God, he didn't stop and lectured us for an hour; than he dissapeared! I understood pretty soon that I had to forget the boy by the name of Shanti(he was half Indian and they ave him this unusual name!

I started to get a little confused because the boy seemed to be so pure not alt all like other humans I happened to know!! He reminded me so much of Baba-ji that in my fantasy they became one.(although I know this isn't the fact, I met this person after my Indian trip in Hamburg) Unfortunately it was very clear that we could only be friends, he told me always to believe in Me!!

When I came back to The Netherlands I had a strange dream. I was in a room. There was a voice. I was told that in this room exactly at that time was the last teaching of Baba-ji. Next thing I know is that I stand in the same room but now there is a square in the middle with ashes in the form of a human being. The smoke was still coming from the ashes and I could breath it in. There was a voice; it said: "breath in the Samadhi' breath it in!" Than I see Baba-ji. He said:"I will follow you to the Kailash mountain! This must all seem very confusing but if I tell you that I'm not a frequent visitor of the ashram and not an official devotee this is quite surprising , because I never had this fantasy. Perhaps it was a fantasy living in my unconsciousness but i don't hink so. I think it's beautifull and Baba didn't stop teaching us a little more!

Love, K.S.

In 1989 I spent eight months in India. Most of the time with Sai Baba and at Ramana Ashram in Southern India. One day Sai Baba glanced at me and after I recovered from the shaktipa I got the message, "Go to the mountains, the Himalayas." The next day I left my wife and five year old son with Baba and took a bus and plane to Delhi, and another day's bus ride to Rishikesh.

I was just getting over dysentery and stayed there for about two weeks to build my strength. I and a new friend then took a bus to the village of Kedranath, at 6000 feet, with the intention of going to the high temple of Kedra when the path opened in a few days. It was the spring opening.

On that day we, along with dozens of other Shiva devotees, trekked the 5000 feet,13 km to the temple. By the time I reached the last mile I was exhausted. When the temple appeared over the horizon I received a bolt of energy and almost sprinted the last half mile.

We entered the small stone temple. Inside was a large monolithic rock, a Shiva lingum about 10 feet high and 5 feet across. It was worn and black with the oil from centuries of devotees hands. As I placed my hands on the lingum a column of white light came down through my crown into the Earth and I heard the words, "Your enlightenment is assured."

I knew its source. By the time we returned to our rooms that night I was sick again, but decided to move on anyway. India appears to be the place where one surrenders the body and then realizes that perfect health is less important than enlightenment.

On our way to Badrinath, another high temple, my friend and I spent the night at Tungnath. It's a small way-stop open only for a few weeks in the spring and again after the monsoons. There were only about half a dozen people at Tungnath, sellers of fruit and soft drinks to travelers. We decided to spend the night. There were no "real" lodgings and it was suggested that we could stay in a small stone hut with no doors or windows, and straw on the ground. This was great.

The next morning we were eating some of the staples from our backpacks when a young man walked out of the woods. He was about 20, in ragged clothing and no shoes. He went over to the locals and just stood in front of them saying nothing but not begging. They shooed him away and he come over to us and did the same. My first thought was to offer him money and I presented a few rupees. He motioned with his hand that he did not want them. We then realized that he was retarded, or at least suffering from some severe mental disability. We were stuck as to why he was there. He then made some motion, I don't remember exactly what, which indicated that he wanted clothing. I reached into my backpack and pulled out a spare pair of pants and a rather used shirt and handed them to him. He nodded, turned and walked back into the woods.

I had been fascinated by Babaji the Immortal from the "Autobiography" for years. In fact it was in my mind when I left Sai Baba that I would look for him, but the Shiva temple seemed to be the priority. I felt at the time that it may have been that Babaji. In the ensuing years my suspicions have grown stronger, along with my intuition and now I truly believe that it was him. I still ponder over the meaning of our meeting.

We never got to Badranath and later that day climbed another 1000 feet to the Tungnath Temple where we spent a week in similar lodgings, doing yoga in an open field of flowers surrounded at times by hummingbirds the size of bumble bees. This place is far enough North that the temple looks like a blending of India and Tibet. The mountains there are riddled with foot thick veins of quartz crystal and there is an ancient 15 foot wide stone road which apparently connects all of the four Indian high temples and spans over a hundred miles of the Himalayas. We climbed another several hundred feet and stood on a knoll covered with stacks of rocks honoring Shiva which had been left by previous pilgrims. From that place there is a 180 degree panorama of the Himalayas of India and into Tibet.

Returning to Delhi, and eventually to Sai Baba, was returning from a place that really defies complete description.

Robin Irelan

In kindergarten, I was taught to squeeze to the left side of my chair in order to make room for my "Guardian Angel" to sit. Deeply impressed, I took these instructions very seriously. I remember consciously and obediently forming the secret habit of leaving space beside me for what the nuns and priests told me was God's heavenly messenger and special protector, my personally assigned guide and helper.

My child-like imagination took to the winds! I remember writing with my left hand so as not to bump this angel with my elbow. And, he followed me everywhere. In church, I tried to impress him with how straight I could kneel. I remember the smell of soup in the convent where we had our school lunch together. I remember drinking from the small bottles of coffee milk--those thick glass bottles with the wide mouths--all the while, my Guardian Angel sitting beside me.

I don't know when I left that ritual behind, or when that delightful childhood game faded away, but I remember exactly when the memory of it was awakened. It was August 1980. It was my second day in Herrekan. It was almost sunset. I had just climbed the 108 steps from the riverbed to the hilltop ashram. I was sitting in the shade on a stone ledge, leaning back against a wall.

It felt so wonderful to breathe and relax, and to feel myself settling in to what felt like home after the long trip from America. And, I was still savoring the memory of my first meeting with BabaJi the day before. The feeling of complete freedom and total safety was beautiful.

The Italian woman, who told me that she had been BabaJi's disciple for 8 lifetimes (I remember saying: "You must be a slow learner!") was screaming at me as if I had just committed a mortal sin!

She was threatening me with a stick. "Do you know where you are sitting? That's BabaJi's room behind you! You can't sit there! What would BabaJi say if he knew you were sitting there! Get out of there right now! (She was the official self-appointed hallway monitor at the ashram. I came to call her the police woman.)

For some reason, I was never given that sheet of paper with all the ashram rules on it, though it was given to everyone to sign upon arrival. Well, in less than a day, I had managed to break every single rule there was. I had been getting on her nerves more and more with each passing hour, and now she was at her wit's end. Needless to say, she was none too pleased to have me there!

I was noticing her dark eyes and her angry look, when I flashed on Sister St. Cyr: a witch of nun who presided over me in the 5th grade. For a moment, I was plugged in to every time that I had ever been scolded as a child.

"If BabaJi is who I think he is," I scolded her back," then he already knows I'm sitting here! Now go away and leave me be!"

A moment later BabaJi came whirling around the corner of the building. She began to prostrate herself and attempted to kiss his feet. But he walked right past her and snuggled up along side me on the seat. He curled up like a cute little boy, his eyes sparkled, he giggled like a child in church! The moment exploded in a gentle burst of white light! And I was back at that kindergarten desk. I was looking into the loving eyes of my Guardian Angel!

Everything stopped. He was, in that moment, the most beautiful man I had ever known! And, I realized that he was inside of me! He was right there in my head and in my heart, witnessing every thought that passed thru my mind, noticing every picture that flashed in my head!

I couldn't hide! He knew everything about me! He knew everything that had ever happened to me. He knew everything that I had ever thought, said or done. He was aware of every desire, every secret! And more than that, much more important and more amazing than that--in spite of that--he was loving and accepting me completely, without judgment!

The feeling of total, unconditional love was incredible! I was truly at home for the first time in myself and in this world. We chuckled together over the police woman. Then he sent me to have chai with the workers. The taste of that first glass of sweet spicy Indian tea sipped in the shade of that warm lush mountain forest, comes instantly to my tongue to this day.

At the ashram, I floated without the need for food or sleep. Every moment was a miracle, every day a mystical wonder! I re-lived the Sacraments of Baptism, First Communion and Confirmation! It was as if the Catholic Church had me "going thru the motions" of those ceremonies. Those hollow rituals were now being filled with sacred meaning. I was being filled with the Living Spirit behind them!

On my way to bathe in the river one morning a few days later, he called me to him, tapped me on the belly with the back of his hand and said: "Go and meet "Makan Singh!"

In that moment, my bodyweight left me. I felt light as a feather and fast as the wind! I began to jog down the path on this mission from God to meet Leonard Orr. My childlike imagination took to the winds! And I began to fantasize...

---

BabaJi tapped me on the stomach with the back of his hand as he said "Go meet Mahkan Singh!"

Mahkan Singh was the name BabaJi had given to Leonard Orr. We had been traveling together thru the USA and Europe. I had gotten to India a few days ahead of him.

When BabaJi tapped my stomach, I instantly and totally entered another state of consciousness. I suddenly felt as if I weighed but a few pounds.

I started running down the path along the river. BabaJi had sent a guide along with me. He chugged along as I played with the incredible feeling of lightness, strength, and boundless energy.

I was amazed at how much energy I had. I began to fantasize about meeting Leonard. I thought "when I get to him, I think I'll pick him up and carry him all the way back to the ashram." (What a strange thought to come out of nowhere!)

A couple of miles down the path, we reached Leonard. (How did BabaJi know he was coming, anyway?) Leonard had several people with him. They were all sitting as if resting or waiting.

One of them was a woman from Michigan with arthritis. She was tired and in pain and could not walk anymore! They were all wondering how they could finish the journey. I was flowing over with energy and had been imagining myself carrying someone!

What an easy and wondrous moment when I naturally picked her up and began to carry her back to the Ashram!

---

It was nearing sunset. I was returning from a walk in the hills overlooking the ashram. As I walked along the river, in the distance, I could see that BabaJi was taking his daily bath. Two old men were tending to him. Visitors were told that this was a very special time and no one except hose two guys were allowed to take part or to observe.

As I approached, one of the men turned and waved me off. I pretended that he was saying hello and instead of turning back, I waved hello back at him! Then, the second man joined in and they both turned to me and signaled for me to go back. I waved hello to both of them with with both my arms!

I could sense their growing panic as I got within 60 feet of them. Then, I felt BabaJi's compassion and humor, and as if to calm his devotees and put their minds at rest, he himself turned to me and with one arm, motioned for me to sit (in much the same way that I trained my German Shepherd years earlier).

In that same instant, I stopped. I felt myself gently collapse to the ground. My feet simply froze and my legs bent on their own. (I got the message!) I sat there for the next ten minutes taking in the event, studying BabaJi's body, and watching the two men complete the ritual.

When they were finished, the three of them walked toward me. As I rose to greet BabaJi, he patted me on the head and I felt his words. (He was right, I did enjoy teasing his devotees.) His tap felt like a kind and patient mother who could only shake her head and smile lovingly at her mischievous son.

They continued on toward the ashram and I followed. Watching BabaJi from behind, I decided to walk in his footsteps. I carefully place my feet exactly over the place where his had been. Without turning, he began to do a slight dance. Then, he deliberately stepped onto every pile of cow dung between the river and the ashram! By the time we reached the bottom of the stairs leading up the hill, my feet were filthy and caked with crap up to the ankles. BabaJi's feet however, were as clean as could be!

Several workers were gathered there, leaning on picks and shovels. They all greeted BabaJi, and he engaged them in conversation. He would point to me and say something obviously funny, and they would all laugh. I sort of joined in with a confused, uncomfortable laugh--not really knowing what the joke was.

I was immersed in thoughts. I had not asked BabaJi a single question in all the time that I was with him. And now the questions were burning: What was my purpose? What was my mission in life? Why was I here?

Suddenly, as if in answer to my thoughts, BabaJi took a shovel from one of the men, and handing it to me, said: "Dig!"

I was momentarily confused, and just sort of froze there with a dumb look on my face. So, he repeated: "Dig!"

I began to dig where I stood. He continued his jokes and conversation with the workers. After several shovel-fulls of dirt I found an Eveready battery. I was so excited, and I examined it as if it were a treasure! How was this the answer to my question? I searched for some great mystical meaning in this rusty old battery.

BabaJi was reading my mind. He must have told the men something awfully funny, because they all laughed hysterically! Then he turned to me and yelled as if angry and impatient: "Dig. Dig!"

I snapped to attention and automatically dove into the task. I shoveled quickly, and began to sweat. Not a normal sweat, but a stinking sweat unlike anything I had smelled before! Then I hit something hard. It was a step that had been buried by the dirt when the river had swelled. I scraped all the dirt off it with pride, while I hoped that no one could smell me.

But it was impossible not to notice, and the men gestured and laughed about it. As I look back now, it would not have surprised me if birds had started falling from the sky due to the odor! I smelled like a pig! But BabaJi simply repeated his mantra: "Dig! Dig! Dig!"

I uncovered another step, then a third. Three steps in all!

The first step was uncovered and cleaned with great awareness and attention to detail. The second step was uncovered as I automatically surrendered to the sweat that poured out of my pores, relaxed in spite of the unusual stench that was coming from me. I melted into the the laughter of the men, and I let go into to the instructions of BabaJi. The third step was uncovered deliberately, on purpose, as I really got into the work at hand. I coordinating my breathing with each thrust and swing of the shovel.

Suddenly, in a moment, in a flash, there was my "Formula for Transformation:" Awareness, Relaxation, and Breathwork! It would be almost three years till it was completely clear, and I could communicate it. But there was my answer. There was my purpose. There was my mission.

As I scraped the last bit of dirt from the third step that was buried by river silt, I noticed the sweet fragrance of flowers and incense. My breath was quiet, soft and delicate, as if after a restful and relaxing sleep instead of the hard labor I had just completed. I looked up a bit surprised by this unususal peace, expecting BabaJi to crack another joke I couldn't understand. But, I realized that I was alone.

I looked around, there was no one. I looked up the one hundred and eight steps leading to the ashram. There was no one there but me. BabaJi and the workers had simply vanished. I leaned the shovel against the rocky cliff and headed straight to the "barber." I forget his name, but he was the devotee officially in charge of shaving people's heads.

A half hour later, I was laying in the river without a hair on my head, filled with ecstasy. I lay in the river feeling the water and life flowing thru me: in the top of my head and out my fingers and toes. I can still see the image of BabaJi's back and his footprints in the cow dung. Bhole Baba Ki Jai!

---

I was with BabaJi at his ashram in Herrekan in 1980, and I met Mr. Pant at his home in Haldwani. BabaJi had sent me to him with instructions to "Rebirth Mr. Pant". One August morning BabaJi gave me his name and told me to teach him Rebirthing. Mr. Pant was a retired newspaper editor. He was also one of the oldest devotees of BabaJi. I was told that when BabaJi first appeared in that cave at the base of Mount Kailash in the foothills of the Himalayas in 1970, Mr. Pant was drawn to him. He wrote about this miraculous "manifestation of Shiva." He wrote of how BabaJi sat for 45 days without eating, sleeping, (or going to the bathroom!). He reported on the "re-appearance Herrekan Baba." He spread the word about this "Yogi Christ of India," the "Immortal Yogi," the "guru's guru" spoken about in Yogananda's Autobiography of a Yogi.

I left the ashram that day and headed into the city. Vinnay Shukla met me at Mot Pol's hotel and drove me to Mr. Pant's house on the back of his old Norton motorcycle. The sky was decorated with beautiful clouds, the sweet smell of flowers and fruit was in the air. I closed my eyes and felt the wind on my face and listened to the sound of the motorcycle as Vinnay bobbed and weaved thru cars and cattle, bicycles and street vendors. We coasted to a stop in front a lovely estate and Vinnay made himself comfortable under a tree while I made my way up the walk to the front door.

I rang the bell and Mr. Pant answered. He was a kindly gentleman, humble with bright eyes that had seen more than 70 years, but still held a youthful glint. I introduced myself and began to explain how I was living with BabaJi in Herrekan and that he had sent me to him.

But before I could finish my sentence, and at the mere mention of BabaJi's name, Mr. Pant was responding. He took me by the arm, pulled me into the house and said "What does BabaJi want?"

I said, "Well, it's about Rebirthing, I teach something called Rebirthing--it's a breathing method, and BabaJi said I should teach it to you."

"What shall I do?" he asked eagerly. "Where shall we do it? How do we begin?"

"Well, we need to find a place to lay down..." (Mr. Pant was practically reclined on the floor already!) "Maybe we should use a couch or your bed." I suggested.

"Good, come this way." And in that moment I was following the quick steps of this amazingly devoted follower of BabaJi.

(I had learned the magic of "BabaJi said" on my first day at the Ashram. I learned that you could do anything, say anything, or go anywhere, break any rule. As long as you began your explanation with "BabaJi said," no one dared to question or interfere!)

Anyway, I found myself in Mr. Pant's bedroom. It was bright and clean, and very simple with little furnishings other than a chair, a dresser, a small table and some plants by the window. I remember seeing tiny specks of dust swirling and glimmering in the sunrays streaking through the window as we took our places.

I was feeling quite powerful, quite confident and very comfortable. I had an extremely willing student, I was on a mission from God, and I was a week into a series of miracles that would have left anyone high as a kite and in love with life!

I got comfortable on the floor beside the bed as Mr. Pant stretched out his slight supple body and settled onto his back. I gave him the usual instructions about the rebirthing breath. "Pull the inhale in actively, let the exhale out passively. Connect the breaths so that there are no pauses between the inhale and the exhale. Continue to breathe in a steady rhythm, and allow whatever happens to happen." I demonstrated the breathing rhythm, and he quickly caught on and took up the pace.

I sat back for a moment and looked around the room. I thought about how far away from home I was and yet how completely at home I felt. Mr. Pant was breathing along in a perfect rhythm. I wanted to give instructions, coach him or guide his breathing, but instead I closed my eyes and took a few conscious breaths of my own. I enjoyed the feeling of expansion in my body and the delightful sense of release.

After a few moments, I focused my attention on Mr. Pant. (After all, I was supposed to be coaching his breathing!) When I observed the movement of his chest and belly, it struck me how truly graceful and beautiful his physical form was. His skin seemed to glow. His hair was soft and healthy. He was truly a beautiful man.

Then the strangest of thoughts and feelings: I wanted to kiss his feet! I wondered where this idea, this urge was coming from. And then, out of nowhere, came an incredible sense of love. It was so powerful and so surprising. For a brief moment I tried to re-focus on my role as a breathing guide. But it was useless. I began to feel a tremendous urge to laugh, to cry, to scream. It was uncontrollable and overwhelming. The feelings gushed out of me. I fell apart!

There was no way I could pay any attention to Mr. Pant. What was happening in me was too strong. I was into a spontaneous Rebirthing session. I was supposed to be rebirthing him, and instead I was the rebirthee!

I gave up trying to "do" anything to "be" any certain way. My breath took off on its own, I lay back on the floor and was carried away by a river of energy and fell into a ecstatic vibrating state. I surrendered gladly and completely. I don't know how much time passed. Probably only a few minutes, but it seemed endless and eternal.

I turned my head back and forth feeling the lovely sense of easy movement in my neck. My body felt so open and flexible. I enjoyed all the places where my body was in touch with the carpet. I was thrilled by every point of contact between me and the floor beneath me, and between me and the world around me.

Soon those points of contact disappeared. Nothing stood out in the way of sensations. It was like floating in a sensory deprivation tank. There was no awareness of borders, of boundaries. I opened my eyes, and something did not register. Something very unusual had happened to my reality.

There were no shadows! I looked under the bed and there was no shadow. The sun was high and its light came in through the window, but nothing was casting a shadow! There was no shadow under the bed, there was no shadow under the table, there were no shadows in the plants. In fact, the leaves seemed to be casting their own light! There were no shadows on either side of my hand and arm as I moved it about in mind-stopping awe.

I leaned up and looked at Mr. Pant. He was brilliant! He was aglow with soft white light! It was coming from his eyes, from his fingertips, from his face, chest and belly, from every pore of his body, and from his feet!

In the next moment I was at Babaji's feet, embracing them. I was softly laughing, crying, gently breathing! Those feet were my infant son, my mother, my wife, my lover, my God! I was bathing in the light coming from his feet! Me, the guy who shook BabaJi's hand and gave him a bear hug when everyone else fell to the ground in devotion!

Then I was back with Mr. Pant. I looked around through tear filled eyes. The light was coming from everywhere! It seemed to come out of the air itself! There was no single source of light anywhere, no direction to the light. There was nothing that was not light! Every point in space seemed to be a window open to a light from beyond! Eyes open, eyes closed: it made no difference. The light was in me!

I don't know how much time passed. Perhaps an hour or two. Gently rocking and swaying, as if floating in the ocean, as if supported on all sides by the air itself. My head resting on the bed at Mr. Pant's feet, I felt as if I was cradled in the arms of God. It was like some childhood fantasy or a religious dream had come alive. A feeling of endless joy, of comfort, of peace and sweet endless pleasure...

Then I found myself at his doorstep. Vinnay was escorting me down the walk toward his motorcycle under the tree. "Tell BabaJi I thank him for coming to me." Tell BabaJi I am his grateful servant." Mr. Pant was waving goodbye. The sound of the motorcycle, the sun on my face and the blue sky filled my senses.

As I lay my head on Vinnay's back, wrapping my arms around his waist, I closed my eyes. In the distance I could hear Mr. Pant yell "Bhole Baba Ki Jai! (Victory to the simple father!)

Dan Brule Copyright © 2000 www.Breathmastery.com

Written by Marge DeVivo, October 6, 1998

I was in Haidakhan with Babaji in 1982. We arrived on June 26. During one of the karma yoga (work) sessions, EVERYONE in the ashram was needed on the construction line. The wall had to be finished before the monsoon started. We lined up and passed a metal disk full of dirt from one person to the next all the way up a hill and then up a ladder to pour into a very high wall full of rocks.

There were men, women, and children of all ages, nationalities, sizes, and levels of strength situated along this line. The man who filled the pan struck me as an obnoxious person, and he handed them to me. He and I had an instant dislike for one another. I turned and passed the disk on to a very tiny Indian woman, who would groan and wince when she got it. I asked the man to fill it less full, and he just laughed at me and kept filling them more and more. I decided he was not very nice, so I would take the very full pan, dump some dirt off, and then pass it to this lady. This really teed him off, as could be expected. We kept up this little game for quite some time, with Babaji right there watching everyone in the line every minute, giving instructions here and there. He didn't say anything to either of us at that time.

Suddenly, Babaji called all the women off the line and told them to sit down and have a cold drink, which He had prepared for all of us. This was a relief. I walked over to the wall and Babaji came right over to me and talked to me just inches away from my face while He pinched my right bicep with alot of force. I had studied acupressure and He had such a strong grip on my upper arm I could hardly breathe!! (I later found out this pressure point is to release any congestion in the lungs. I had had lung problems all my life.) At the same time He was looking into my eyes and asking me questions. I could barely answer, with the pressure on my arm and looking into His eyes was always like looking into outer space--just the VOID!). He ended the conversation with "...Oh, you go rest; go now!" This was said very quietly, very slowly, and with great compassion, as if He felt like I was really exhausted. I started to wonder if I was. Later that evening at Arati, I saw that the same obnoxious guy was there, but

I didn't notice I was directly behind him in the darshan line (the line of people who go up to the seat where Babaji is and pay their respects). I was so self-absorbed about all the happenings of the day and where I was and Who I was with that I just kept moving forward in the line, very happy to be here with Shri MahaPrabhuji and not noticing this guy in front of me.

When I got to Babaji and gave my pranam, as I lifted my head He slipped a necklace of rose quartz over my head and gave me some prasad. I was stunned to receive this beautiful necklace, and couldn't get over how it just landed on my neck so easily and smoothly without my even knowing He had it. Later, others told me that the necklace had been placed on Babaji's neck by "my mortal enemy," the man who filled the dirt pans. Babaji had taken it off his own neck as I bowed down and put it on my neck as I rose. After that, this man and I would see each other in the ashram and always smile and I would show him my necklace. He was a jeweler and had made this necklace for Babaji. Rose quartz is the stone that heals the hurts in the heart, and it would appear that this man and I had past-life karma to settle. In this very subtle, perfect way, Babaji healed the whole situation and the two of us.

This is only one tiny example of what people call "Babaji Theater." It seems He would manipulate the universe into these little scenarios that brought out the best in everyone. There are hundreds of these stories that are shared among those who were in Babaji's physical presence. I hope to share some more of them with you soon.

Om Namah Shivaya
Love
Marge

Written by Marge DeVivo, October 13, 1998

My first trip to India (1982) was quite a shock to the system. I was so happy to be there and so miserably sick most of the time. We had been told before we went NEVER to drink any kind of water in India (this was also before they sold the bottled water on the street like they do now). We were told to drink only the soft drinks or hot tea that was boiled. The soft drinks are more like syrup they are so full of sugar. The hot tea has lots of milk and sugar in it; I was not successful in getting the chai shops to leave out the sugar, as they thought sugar was the best part of the drink.

Anyway, not having consciously or purposely eaten sugar for several years, all this sugar, the heat of the day, the lack of liquids I was suffering, or when I did drink a Limca or a Campa cola, I'd go into a sugar thing and my skin would be all sticky, I'd feel dizzy, etc. The dysentery started for me on Air India, leaving New York, after the very first meal was served. It was probably more like "fear" but it had the same devastating effect on my digestive system. This meant I was even more dehydrated.

Each day in Haidakhan, I'd do my best to follow the schedule of ceremony, work, washing my clothes in the river, getting to the one meal a day at lunch time, and the rest of it. Others made it look pretty relaxed and easy; I felt I was lucky to be walking around. To remember the towel, the lota, the sari, the petticoat, the blah-blah-blah of just getting to the river for a bath was overwhelming at times. Then taking the bath in the river without taking your clothes off (that's another whole story separate from this). Anyway, to say I felt "dazed and confused" is an understatement. Yet moving around the ashram, doing what you had to do, was so energizing! It was obvious where Babaji was at any given moment, as you would see faces lighting up and smiles and a little flurry of energy and activity somewhere-- you knew that's where He was at that moment.

One day I got up at 4 and worked until about 9, I then got so sick I had to lie down and I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke, it was past 1:30 p.m. Lunch was at 1, and across the river, so if I didn't RUN, I'd probably miss the whole thing. There were no alternative meals in the chai shops in those days; you got to lunch, or the best you could get other than that was a canned cheese (as I recall, it was pretty bad and tasted more like a can than cheese) available in the store.

I was feeling very weak and exhausted and not at all well, but the thought of waiting until the next day for sustenance forced me to move. I threw on a sari, grabbed a plastic sandwich bag full of vitamins for the day, which I couldn't take on an empty stomach, and headed for the gufa side. This is quite a long haul down the 108 steps, all the way across the river over homemade bridges spanning the many tributaries of the Gautami Ganga. I had to watch the ground beneath me so carefully, just so I wouldn't trip or fall down those steps, that I was at the bottom of the steps when I saw that Babaji was approaching me accompanied by a young German girl in overalls, carrying an umbrella. They were talking and laughing, having a really good time.

When I reached Babaji, we were standing in water, so I couldn't kneel down to touch His feet. Instead, I put my hands together in "Namaste" and put them up to my forehead and said "Om Namah Shivaya" and "Bhole Baba ki Jai!" When I did this, the little vitamin bag was hanging from my hands.

Babaji touched the vitamin bag, and said questioningly, "Medicine?" I said, "No, Baba, vitamins." He again said, louder, "Medicine?" still a question, and I said, louder, "No, Baba, vitamins." He then said much louder, and no question, "MEDICINE!" and He walked away. I was left standing there, thinking "Hmmmmmmm.... I think I'd better take these as soon as possible." I ran and got some lunch, took the vitamins/medicine and I stayed well for the next 4 or 5 days, the longest I was feeling well during the entire 3-week trip.

In a similar story I heard from a friend and teacher, there was a man who was so sick in bed for days that he just could barely drag himself to Babaji to ask Him for medicine. When he got to Babaji and asked, Baba turned to the man next to him (my friend and teacher) and said, "Give him the medicine you have in your shirt pocket." This was puzzling since all he had in his shirt pocket was chewing gum, so he gave the man a stick of chewing gum. The man ate it and was instantly well.

Om Namah Shivaya
Love
Marge

Written by Marge DeVivo, November 13, 1998

In spring of 1982, after longing to go to India to visit Babaji for the three years I had known of Him being there, Leonard Orr's "Physical Immortality" book appeared in a B. Dalton Bookstore in Lincoln, Nebraska, with Babaji's painting on the cover. This seems to have been quite a miraculous event just to even have it in that bookstore!

Having been acquainted with Babaji's paintings through a metaphysical teacher who had shown us many of these in his class, this book seemed to just jump off the shelf and come to my home of its own volition.

The chapters in the book about Babaji were astonishing! What I remember most is Leonard saying, "Babaji is there waiting for you. Why don't you go and visit Him? Here's His address." Now even though I had ALMOST gone there in 1980 with a group, I never had Babaji's address before. The message in 1980 was "don't come now; buy land." That is the land on which this Center is built. We were lead to the exact spot in June 1980 and purchased it on 8/8/80. That's a separate story.

Back to 1982, as I sat reading the book in my kitchen (same one as today) , I suddenly had an experience of a "light being" appearing to me right there at the kitchen table, saying "It's time to get to India..." This was very real and moving. I took out pen and paper and immediately wrote a letter to Babaji to ask permission to visit. Since I was teaching elementary school at that time, I said we'd be free to come between June 4 and August 15. I mailed the letter to Haidakhan.

The following weekend, even before the letter got to Haidakhan, we were driving to Chicago for a Metaphysical Conference Weekend. On the way, my driving partner fell asleep and I was at the wheel. Suddenly, it started to rain. The rain became heavier and heavier until I could just barely see the road. I wondered whether to stop for awhile and let the storm pass and then follow it, or to keep cruising and try to get ahead of it. My partner was sleeping so soundly I didn't even try to wake him. I had a small picture of Babaji on the sun visor above me that seemed to help me drive better. I looked at it and said, "What to do?" and it answered immediately, inside me somewhere "You get through this, you don't have to go through the monsoon!!"

This seemed odd, but it was said with such assurance I believed it. Then I thought, "Oh my God! This must mean we really ARE going to India soon. Here's a little test for me..."

So I drove and drove and held the car on the road through wind and rain and very poor visibility, passing up the storm and staying ahead of it all the way to Chicago. It was very intense! At that time, I was not aware of when the monsoon season was in India, and I really didn't want to think about it.

The last day of the school year was June 4, and I had just cleaned up the classroom and headed home to the mailbox. There, in the mail, was a letter from Haidakhan. Written by an American "secretary," it said that Babaji had said, "Yes, you should come. Come in June."

That's another long story, so I'll cut to the chase on this one aspect about the monsoon. We landed in India on June 23, got to Babaji on June 26 and we flew home from India on July 12. All that time, there was no monsoon. When we arrived, we heard lots of speculation about why the monsoon was late this year, so I shared my story with Radhe Shyam and Sita Ram, two Americans who were living there. Radhe Shyam was gathering stories for his book, "I Am Harmony," and he really got tickled by my story. From then on, we were introduced as "the reason for the late monsoon this year."

We found out later that the monsoon never really started until about 2 weeks after we left India!!!

Om Namah Shivaya

Babaji is often known as "Controller of the Cosmos," and in this case, He sure had something to do with the weather!!

Meeting with Babaji in Haidakhan

Full Moon, October, 1982

I was told by a friend about Babaji in 1982 when I was 23 years old. All my friend said was that He was the Babaji mentioned in Yogananda's book and that He was connected to Leonard Orr. I felt such a strong magnetic pull to go and see Him but had no time to learn anything more about Him before I found myself in India.

The first time I had private darshan with Babaji He looked at me and I felt like I was in a tunnel while the world around me disappeared. I felt like I was being seen for who I was in my entirety through the eyes of Absolute Truth. All I could think was, "My God, your eyes!"

I felt fear come up initially because I had no idea what to do around Him. However this did not stop me from going and standing right next to Him because I felt such tremendous love for His Being. He gave me a direct experience of what is spoken of in the Tibetan Book of the Dead and I was shown all the fierce deities mentioned as you often see them portrayed in the mandalas. As soon as I realized that my mind was creating them they instantly vanished and I was once again overwhelmed with love for Babaji. I knew that I had known Him forever.

As I stood beside Him I felt His energy field was like that of the biggest nuclear power plant in the universe with such power and destructive potential, but at the same time generating the greatest love there is. I kept thinking that the sun, moon, stars, the wind, the Vedas and everything on Earth are in Him, and I was so drawn to His hair and how it represents the sacred power of the Ganges. As I said, I knew next to nothing about what was proper conduct around Babaji and although I had an overwhelming urge to hug Him I thought I had better not in case it was disrespectful!! I look back on this now and laugh. There is no question that He knows our every thought.

About 3 years ago His energy landed on me like tsunami and now I am so enraptured with Him that He is on my mind constantly. He is the greatest love I have ever known and whenever I look at a picture of Him I call Him "My Beautiful Love". He has visited me regularly in dreams this year and I feel so incredibly blessed to have been with Him while He was in body. May He shine like a diamond in all of our hearts.

Om Namaha Shivaya

Diane Tylor xo

I was sitting by a running creek. Next to me was the most beautiful, sexy man. He was barely dressed, only wearing like a loin cloth or something. I looked into his eyes and said "Who are you?" and his eyes were shinning deeply and I knew it was Babaji. I had never seen him look so young and sexy before, though. I was attracted to him and tried to kiss him on the mouth.

As I leaned over to kiss him, his head turned into a television set and I was kissing a glass screen. Inside the tv set he was giggling at me. I think the message was a couple of things: My ideas about love and attraction were derived from images on tv and the movies and were not based on real love. So, they were flat and artificial. Trying to connect to someone when your ideas are based on false images is like trying to kiss a flat, glass screen instead of really connecting with a person. And, ultimately, the message was one he has given me a lot in many different dreams: you don't know what you really want and like. You think you like things but they are illusions.

When we were talking on the phone I mentioned that I'd written to Babaji back in the fall of 1983 asking for permission to visit ( he wrote back at the beginning of November of '83, telling me to come any time-- but one of my dogs got very sick and I had to spend my trip money on her-- and Babaji left his body in Feb of 84 and I never got to see him?). What prompted me to write him was this: back in about 1979 I was in bed, asleep, when I suddenly awoke, feeling as though there was someone in the room with me--my first thought was that someone had broken into the house and had made it into my bedroom.

My reaction was to lay very still, not moving, until I could get a bead on what was happening. So I lay there, on my chest, my eyes barely open, and I had this feeling that someone was passing his/her hands all over my body, just above my body, making passes with his or her hands up and down the length of my body. I could see and feel the energy moving in my body. After some time this stopped and I sat up in bed.

In the room with me was this bright golden white "figure"-- I use the term loosely-- surrounded by a golden white aura. It wasn't someone I recognized, but I had the very distinct impression that the figure was waiting long enough for me to definitely focus on it-- for me to make sure I was fully awake and not dreaming-- and I had the distinct impression that even though I didn't recognize the figure, at least by name, that I'd know who it was shortly. When I'd absorbed all that, the figure vanished.

The next day I went down to the local food coop to do some shopping. They had a small book section that I always checked out when I shopped there. The weekend before I'd seen this small, black-covered book with this sort of intense person on the cover-- it wasn't someone I recognized and for the most part it looked to me like another one of those Indian saint books recounting stories, etc-- so I didn't pay much more attention to it. So, when I went into the book section this next time here was this same small black book facing outward on the shelf so that the cover was in plain view, with this intense person looking out at me-- and I knew immediately that he and the being in my room the previous night were one and the same--and they turned out to be Babaji.

I don't think it was until the spring or summer of 1983 that I knew that Babaji taken a body again, and when I found out I was very anxious to see him "in the flesh", but as things worked out I never got there. I know that he would have told me it was more important to help my dog than to see him in some kind of body, and that I can always find him, but still.... So that's my Babaji story--well, one of them anyway. :)

Roger

www.diaryofawareness.com
roger@diaryofawareness.com

By Marge DeVivo

We rode into Haidakhan in the back of a large truck, all the way through the riverbed, and up to the bottom of the 108 steps! This seemed miraculous to me, as I had heard all the stories of walking up through the riverbed, through chest-high water, almost being swept away downstream, with every step. I was very much in fear of that, but when it was time to go to Haidakhan, I just decided Babaji would handle that for me and I had to face the fear.... and so He did. The truck left with us on it from the Kailash View Hotel on the morning of June 26, and we arrived in Haidakhan before lunchtime. We were a bit sunburned and overheated because of the intensity of the sun at that time of year and that time of day.

Arriving in Haidakhan, I was expecting to change into some very nice sari in order to go and meet the Master Babaji. When we arrived, we went up the 108 steps and were directed to stay in the International Guest House, where our luggage was deposited. Then we were told to go directly to Babaji, who was taking a bath in the river on the opposite side, known as the Gufa (cave) side. What about changing into nice clothes? Nope, we were to greet Him first and then we could change clothes, after that. Oh MY! This meant I was meeting Babaji in a striped 3-button shirt and cotton pants, the only clothes I had with me appropriate for climbing onto the top of a truck!!! This was not what I had in mind. I had heard stories that you change into a magnificent white sari and get very elegantly put together... Oh well!

Anyway, there was no way to argue with anyone about this or change it. From the top of the steps we could see quite an entourage of people down in the river on the other side, with a magnificent glowing figure in pure white under a large sky-blue umbrella!! THIS WAS BABAJI!! From the moment we spotted Him, He also seemed to spot us! He stopped right where He was, with the full entourage stopped behind Him. We headed back down the 108 steps and across the river. There were many channels to cross, with some bridges and some where you just walked through the water. He just stared at us the entire trip across the river. It's quite a long trip, and the energy felt like He was pointing at us, but this was only with His eyes.

As we got closer, I would glance up whenever I could to get a glimpse of Him. I couldn't look very long because of all the rocks that I was in danger of tripping over even when I was very careful. By the time we were about 100 feet from Babaji, my body started to tremble uncontrollably, especially my legs. I had to put my hands on my thighs to keep my legs walking and moving forward. I had only one thought as I got closer and closer "Oh my God! This is God!" Even from the top of the stairs, it appeared that there was a huge light all around Babaji, about 8 feet in diameter. This "glow" became brighter as we got closer. This trembling was so fierce I had to concentrate on every step to get there.

Finally, we reached Babaji's feet and we knelt down to pranam (touch His feet). As we stood up, He spoke to us in German. We didn't say anything, so then He said in English "What your name?" I opened my mouth, and NOTHING would come out, not even a whisper! Jim was hitting his forehead, looking down, saying "our names, our names, what are our names?" Finally, he said "we are Jim and Marge, from America..." And then I added "from Emahmn." (Emahmn was our spiritual teacher in the USA who had prepared us for our visit to Babaji. Babaji loved Emahmn very much.) At that, Babaji turned downriver and screamed with so much force and ferocity, it scared the tar out of us, "EMAHMN! EMAHMN!" We looked at each other in total terror, like "Oh No! We said the wrong thing! Now He's going to destroy us!" When He turned back to us, it was with total compassion and warmth. (This quality of Babaji to change "moods" so quickly and completely was noticed by all in His presence.)

He motioned immediately for us to greet Muniraji, who was in the entourage of those who had gone to the bath. We had been carrying Muniraji's picture around with us for weeks. We had been told he was a great saint and we both felt deep connections to him from other lifetimes. We'd both had dreams of Muniraji and Babaji together, giving instructions and such. We ran to Shri Muniraji and tried to pranam, but he wouldn't allow that ( he was still "traveling incognito" at that time, and no one was treating him like a saint), so he grabbed our hands and shook them, saying "Welcome to Haidakhan!"

Shastriji told us later that the only reason Shri Muniraji was in Haidakhan that day was to welcome us, as he knew we were arriving then. We hadn't connected with him in Haldwani. So Babaji knew about this connection in our hearts, and it was the very first thing He did with us, connect us physically to Shri Muniraji. It was no surprise to us in any way, when Babaji left in 1984, that Muniraji would now be in charge of the devotees, and especially the ashrams throughout the world.

After this, we went back to Babaji, who was going over to the gufa to bless the food before lunch. All the lunches were prepared on the gufa side in that season, so everyone had to cross the river for prasad (food). He told us to go sit in the shade. We were following Him around like two puppies. He took us into the shade of the nine temples on the marble floor and showed us exactly where to sit down. There were big trays of food up on the walls. When we first sat down there, there were at least 20 people milling about waiting for lunch. Then something strange happened, and suddenly, we were the only ones there with Babaji. Everyone else just "disappeared." He started pacing back and forth in front of us, like a tiger. It seemed you could almost see sparks coming off Him as the energy was so electric!! He was pacing and looking at us, like trying to figure out what to do with us. We had been out in the hot sun all the way up in the truck. We were not in good shape. I was still trembling like a leaf in the wind. It helped to sit on the cool marble, but I was in so much AWE I really couldn't function.

Finally, after much pacing and electricity and awe, Babaji picked up a tray of chappati. He took one off the tray, bit off a piece, breathed on the rest of it, went to Jim and said, "Open," and he stuck this chappati in his mouth. Then He did the same with me with a smaller one. As soon as this bread hit my mouth, I was immediately calmed and soothed. I relaxed and ate the chappati completely, feeling nourished, quieted, and all of a sudden, it was like I had ALWAYS been here with Babaji!!! It was completely NORMAL to see Him there in front of me; the scene was familiar; the faces were familiar; I was HOME!!! There was no other world! I would look at Him and smile, and just say, "Oh! There's Babaji!" No more trembling, no more shyness, no more unworthiness to the point of not functioning. My other life was completely illusion; this was the real world. FINALLY, the real world happened in my life, as I'd always felt something was "wrong" with me, like things just didn't make sense in my normal everyday life. Here, everything finally made sense.

In fact, from then until about 3 days before I went home, I couldn't even REMEMBER anything about my home or family or car or work or ANYTHING about living in Nebraska. If people asked where we were from, we could say "Nebraska" or the USA, but details were GONE!!! One afternoon, in our room in Haidakhan, Jim and I were trying to remember a name of any one of our sisters. I have three sisters, and he has 5. We had promised to send postcards to all these people. NEITHER of us could come up with a name of ANY of them for a long time. Finally, after really struggling, like when you do a past-life hypnosis or something, I got the name of one of my sisters, and I kept saying it over and over, like "what a strange name!"

We had gone to India expressly to ask Babaji what to do with our acreage, which He had guided us to buy in 1980 rather than visit Him then. We couldn't even remember there WAS an acreage until shortly before we were going to leave.... and even then, there was no way to remember a question or a problem to ask Him about while in His presence. While in His Presence, there was no problem, no question, just pure BEING, in a heightened state of awareness. It was while we were farther away from Him that we figured out we had better write down our questions and ask Him while we were here rather than trying to write Him a letter from America about it! So that is what we did, eventually. (that's another story)

It was such a blessing to finally feel like life was making sense, walking around with Babaji, traveling with Him to Nainital, Haldwani, Delhi, and then to Vrindavan for Guru Purnima. The difference in food and climate and culture were very hard on my body, but my heart was filled with joy and a 'sense of belonging.' This "remembering" my True Self came with Babaji giving me the "bread of life." Just like holy communion, which I had grown up with in the Catholic Church! I'm sure He knew of that too.

This meeting Babaji was so spectacular for us that we agreed that even if He had sent us straight home after that 20-30 minutes, we would have felt complete. We had heard the stories of people who arrived, got their luggage up the steps, and Babaji would just say, "Go home. Go now." And that would be the end of it for that person. They had to leave. We went with no expectation and grateful for every single thing that happened to us for the next 12 days that we spent with Babaji.

BHOLE BABA KI JAI!!!

From Kali Devi

Babaji made his entry into my life on a summer's night in 1989 like a thousand exploding suns. He was not subtle at all! I had merely seen his photo in a book. My heart shattered and my journey began. He came for me as the Beloved and has remained so ever since. Although I never met Him in form, my experiences with Him have been incredibly alive with the same flames of love, compassion and lessons of those that did. He always taught me through my heart always reinforcing to me that the head (wisdom) and heart (compassion) must be one. I've kept years of journals of my meditations with Him and asked what did He want me to share and was lead to this one.

As I sat one morning some problems that made me sad and upset suddenly came to mind and quickly created the negative mood I lugged into meditation with me.

June 10, 1991

Although I was upset my mind eventually settled and I saw myself in a lovely forest. I was seated on a log and as I looked in the distance I could see Babaji coming towards me wearing a happy smile. The best I could give back was a wan one with the state I was in. He knew immediately that something was wrong but didn't speak a word. He just sat down in the grass in front of me like a child silently looking up at me with dark sensitive eyes.

I was uncomfortable with Him sitting there like that staring up at me so mouth opened to say something but was startled shut as he suddenly pulled my feet from underneath the long skirt I was wearing and said with sparkling eyes, "Such tiny feet. Such little feet!" "What?" I asked baffled. "Such tiny feet. Look! They are so small." He smiled, taking one in each of his large hands. "Never have I seen such tiny feet!" He grinned at me his dark eyes sparkling even more now like he was in child-like wonder.

I wasn't at all in the mood to be humored about my feet. I frowned. "What do you mean? They say that feet symbolize understanding. Are you saying that I have very little understanding?" I questioned irritably. He smiled up at me warmly, his deep eyes alive with amusement and lifted one dark brow, not needing to bother verbalizing me an answer. My ego cowered. "What I said is that you have the cutest tiny feet." (At that time some shoeboxes fell in my closet scaring me to death!) Babaji continued to laugh and joke and play with my feet , also massaging them until finally I pulled out of my sour mood.

"Feeling better now?" he asked after awhile. "I am. Yes, I am. Thank You." "Good. That is very good." His dark lashed eyes held mine beginning to shine , then suddenly he said, " I wonder what I would look like with such tiny feet?" "Oh, Baba!..." I groaned and then had to laugh. "No, really. Come. Come and let us see!" He said lifting me up from the log. "You come and stand on mine." "Stand on Yours?" "Yes...or either... I could stand on yours?" He teased looking down at me. "You're too heavy." "No I am not..." He answered half smiling, half serious, his dark gaze velvety and intense. At that moment a breeze blew his hair about His face and he became so beautiful that I felt my heart melting...melting. In an instant our eyes met in understanding and He smiled really happy again. "You come. Stand here." He instructed and I did, perching on His feet. "Now hold on." He smiled down, embracing me. "Hold tightly!" I did. I held on to Him ever so tightly and suddenly the tears I had tried to fight back so fiercely finally came.

"I know....yes...yes... I know..." he held me so close. "It is not easy, this path...this world. Many times we get discouraged. We both have been here a long time. I too know how hard...how difficult it is for I too have been here forever it seems, helping mankind in his slow...very slow pace, sometimes feeling there has been very little change. But...you go on, not for yourself but for God, to find the Highest thing in you...the Perfection you know inside so well." I sobbed profusely as He spoke these gentle comforting words holding me so close, so tightly. "Yes, yes little one. How well I know...how well I know." I could feel and hear His deep sigh as he rested His chin on the top of my head. We stood there for a long time as he allowed me to cry my heart out about life's anguish and frustration in his arms. As I quieted He said gently, "When things are not going well, stand on My Feet, my little love. I am always here to hold you up. To take every step for you. Remember that."

For anyone who is reading this, feel that I must point out that I'm trying ( with immense and un-imaginable difficulty ) to find non attachment.

My wife and I bought a caravan in Glastonbury about 2 years ago, ever being attracted to the general spiritual feeling of the place, we go down there as often as we can afford.

As usual I walk to the Tor (The Mystical Tor, that has attracted millions of spiritual seekers for a very long time). At the base of Tor, I begin to feel the usual feeling of longing, emptiness, the usual feeling of (God please speak to me) I think to myself, "who can I pray to, for God's sake, who can I pray to who might actually respond?" A thousand uncontrolled and depressed thoughts on my mind, I find myself thinking of anything from my old Guru, to Krishna and the Jaganath Temple, to The I Ching, to Jesus, to just the word "God".

Reflecting on my exciting past, reflecting on my present feelings of selfish despair, very much fearing an unknown future, a faded memory flickers into my mind. I'm about 18 years old, I'm in the bath ( tub to Americans ) in my mothers house, about 1972, I pray to the awesome, Babaji, the Yogananda book Babaji.

I have a cross and chain around my neck that a friend had given me during our search for spiritual realisation, deeply praying to Babaji as best I know how, in search of that promised blessing Babaji gave. Eventually I realise that my bath is getting cold, so I start to wash my face, neck etc, instantly the cross and chain is in my hands, (intact, not un-joined) I stare at it for a slightly amused moment, but then slowly I realise that this can't be happening. Please believe me when I tell you that the chain was very small, the cross hung around my adams apple region, in other words it did not somehow transport itself over my head etc. I have always remembered this strange and inexplicable moment in time, but of course I have never known what to make of it.

Anyway, back to 1999, oh yes, there I am at the base of the Tor, finally I decide to pray to Babaji, I form a tiny sentence in my mind,"BABAJI,PLEASE BLESS ME"

I begin my climb to the top of the Tor, knowing that although it is no mountain, I will be breathing very heavily and soaked in sweat when I get there. So, with every breath, I repeat with intense feeling, trying to be as truly reverent as possible, repeating, "Babaji please bless me."

I arrive at the Tor, soaked in sweat, and half gasping for breath, and as usual, I sit down on the nearest concrete seat, and although looking forward to getting my breath back, I am very much absorbed in my prayer to Babaji, really, I am actually seem unable to think of anything else, or recognise anything around me, all I know is,"Babaji, please bless me." As I sit down on the concrete seat, immediately a man walks in from the right hand entrance, I successfully resist looking at him, truly praying, only to Babaji, absolutely shunning all distractions.

However, one way or another, I can't help but notice that he seems to,"glide" across the floor, almost as though he were walking on water or something, very slowly. Then as gracefully as he moved, as gracefully he came to rest, facing the same direction he arrived from, head bowed, feet in sandals, tall, white hair, myself unable to see his face, one of those,"old but fit types," and totally silent. This individual moved like a,"spiritual" man, somebody reflecting upon at least, "something"

I, meanwhile had kept my head down, intent on treating this man as an intruder, a nuisance perhaps, and as much as my head was down, so was this mans head down. "BABAJI, PLEASE BLESS ME," intensely repeating within my worn being, I become aware of an itch on my nose, a bead of sweat, still there, running down my nose, irritating, at first I either ignore or refuse to acknowledge the itch, but slowly but surely, my resolve, being slowly worn down now, by all sorts of distractions, I decide to wipe the itch from my nose, with fanatical slowness, I move my hand towards my nose, a strange sort of guilt comes over me, well fairly normal I suppose, but this is really strange, a voice, an awareness, whatever, a very clear understanding of," If you scratch your nose, I will go away." In other words, keep up your concentration. Well, that's all I can make of it anyway. Finally, I touch my nose, instantaneously the man,"glides away," graceful," severe perhaps.

Although most resolute, I try only in vain to continue my concentration upon Babaji, slowly relaxing myself, and slowly finding myself wondering about this unusual man,(knowing of course that Glastonbury is full of unusual people.) I fully recover my normal mode and decide to quickly look for the unusual man, I briskly get up and walk outside the Tor, scanning, left, right, walking right round the Tor, the man is gone, then I notice him at the base of the Tor, walking really fast, away from the Tor. I think to myself, "blimey, how did that man get down there that quick?"

Approximately three weeks later, I'm at the base of the Tor again, thinking very similar thoughts to the last time I was there, actually forgetting the "unusual man encounter." I must pray to the Yogananda book Babaji I decide, yes, that's it. So, off I go again, intense, sweating etc.

The instant I sit down, albeit, sincerely and reverently, a young, dark skinned man with fairly long black hair, and very big eyes, bounds in from the right hand entrance, he sits down next to me, so abrubtly I actually jump back slightly, I say to my self, blimey, who the hell is this? Is he on drugs, is he gay, who the hell is this strange 18ish year old man. I come to the conclusion that he is not on drugs, and that he is not gay, but then he says, "Oh look at you," and then starts to vigorously wipe the sweat off of my head. I say," er, yeah, I'm always hot," (which I am) He then says loudly, "Oh, I'm cold." We seem to hover for a moment, I uneasily look away, he sort of looks away, and then leaps up and bounds out the way he came.

This time I instantly rush outside the Tor, gathering my senses on the way, and frantically look for the young, crazy guy. Nothing, I really mean nothing, he is definitely not there, dashing around the Tor, frantically looking left, right, down, all directions, he is definitely not there.

A few days later, I come home to my wife, I tell her of my strange encounter, describing both old man and young man, (I didn't actually mention the first encounter at the time of it happening for whatever reason.) I tell her of a strange young man with big eyes, he seemed Indian and red indian at the same time, slightly feminine, long black hair, I speak about it a lot to her. I remember thinking that the "young man" somehow reminded of the "old man," admittedly, probably because I had been praying to Babaji both times anyway, but on the other hand, I still think one reminded me of the other to this day.

About 3 months later, I buy my first computer, a friend of mine sets it up for me, and away I go. Anxious to "browse" the internet that I have heard so much about, I quickly connect up and then wonder what to look for. You can surely guess what I'm going to say. After a fairly short time I think to myself, Ah! I wonder if there's anything about Babaji on the internet. To my great surprise there was a considerable amount of information about Babaji, but not the Yogananda book Babaji I would of expected, (I wasn't expecting any Babaji stuff on the internet anyway) but this new Babaji that supposedly materialised in 1970 in a cave. At first I read the Babaji stories with suspicion, distrust, scepticism, etc. Marge may recall one of my earliest E-Mails saying,"are you sure this is THE Babaji." I still have those early E-Mails. So there I am, constantly trying to come to terms with this,"new" Babaji, reading his words, lessons etc. and doubting all of them.

Remember, I hardly know how to turn the computer on at this stage, consequently, the only picture I have seen of this "new" Babaji so far is the home page Babaji that looks a bit like an artists impression of him. Experimenting further with the internet, I find more pictures of the "new" Babaji. Slowly but surely I start to realise that one of the pictures really, really looks like my visitor from the Tor. Reading more and more about this strange new Babaji, I find passages saying things like, "he looks Red Indian and Indian at the same time, feminine, long arms", "my visitor had noticably long arms," seventy years old sometimes, etc. etc.

Now of course, I realise and absolutely believe that my two visitors were indeed Babaji, even though he doesn't neccessarily look like the picture in the Yogananda book. This experience has seriously damaged my mental health, now I have to believe in Babaji, forever unable to slip back into doubt, spiritual despair etc.

Well, that's it, that's the best story i've got. I think for the rest of my life I will be ever trying to live up to this honour, and to maybe one day meet him again.

Yours most sincerely,

Bill Bryant

OM SRI SAI RAM, hello there! I am so happy after I checked the hole page of Babaji.

It is a real blessings for so many truth seekers all over the world. I want to share a very personal and alive testimonial about the power of radiance of our beloved Babaji it occured about six -you may odd-years ago, when I was jogging in the park when suddenly I felt a great desire to look to my left side so I looked but there were nothing to see, and I kept on jogging as usual, so the command started again to look I realized something peculiar was around to happen I stoped runing and obeyed the drive immediately I got Babaji's presense, it is hard to express but my eyes did not see anything nor any body but my inner senses did! I don't know how I did but my sensorium was in presense of Babaji then I realized He doesn't need a "visible" body to senses but to the heart.

I remember I felt the radiance of His Love & protection; The same has happened as soon I was in the web page. Thank you again for this spiritual service,I got Babaji Grace when I recived Kriya yoga initiation through Yogananda's teaching and let me tell you He is my Amerista param guru lineage. You may send me "news" about the page and/or all of you. Thank you for your time, I had to write this because it belongs to all of you also.

OM SRI SAI RAM

yours truly db.

Hi Marge, It is nice to meet you. My name is Susan and I've recently come across your website within the past few weeks. I would like to share with you how this came to be.

One Saturday afternoon, I laid down to rest and began doing a healing visualization between myself and another person. While I was doing this, a young Indian looking man appeared in my meditation and began to do some healing work on the other person. I was observing the whole thing and thinking, "Who is this man that has appeared out of nowhere ?" After he was done with the healing, this man sat cross-legged and radiated such peace and understanding. He sat in such a way that he formed a triangle between all three of us. Meaning that myself, the indian man, and the other person were all sitting cross-legged and formed a triangle. Right after that visualization ended, I pictured myself being purified by white fire. I was asking over and over again to be taken through the fire so that I may be purified. Now, remember, I had not yet seen your website and I was not that familiar with Babaji. I remember reading about him in Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda, but my memory of him was faint.

I fell asleep for a little awhile and after I awoke I went to the computer and looked up Yogananda. My eye caught an entry about Babaji and some slide show that you could watch for free. I thought it was odd that my eye saw Babaji because I have looked up Yogananda many times and never saw Babaji's name on that page. Well, I clicked on it and began to watch the slideshow. My eyes just stared and my mouth dropped in awe as I watched Babaji and was realizing that this was the indian looking man that had just appeared in my meditation two hours ago. I tingled from head to toe many times over and again when I came to the passage about going through the Great Fire of Purification. I felt deeply moved and began to cry. I was so grateful for this gift.

I want to share with you one more thing. I have not picked up my guitar in a very long time, but I felt drawn to yesterday and had a wonderful time playing it. I felt very connected and alive. I was thinking about Babaji and Yogananda and picturing myself singing a song that was meant to reach everyone.

This is what came through :

Oh, Love
Gentle is the way
That I want to be with you
Gentle is the only way
That I want to do

'Cause I see all your faces
Looking back at me
I see all the love inside
Waiting to get free...

Oh you can't deny it
It's right there in your eyes
No you cannot hide it
It's been there all the time...been there all the time

Chorus:
Because Love is free
It's there inside of you
Love is free
So what are you going to do ?
Love is free

I feel all the yearning
From your hearts to mine
I see all the people
Thinking it's not true
But, I see all the peace inside
Waiting to break through

I know you want to share it with someone
You want to hold out your hand
Well, you can take a deep breath now
Because I understand...yes I understand

Love is free
It's there inside of you
Love is free
So what are you going to do?
Love is free

Gentle is the way
That I want to be with you
Gentle is the only way
and I'm sharing it with you
I'm sharing it with you

Love is free Love is free
Love is free Love is free
Love is free Love is free

Om Namah Shivaya,
Susan K

On the way to India on my first trip in June 1982, in the New York airport, a group of Hare Krishnaˆs approached us and asked about the malas around our necks. They asked how many beads were on the strand. We answered 108, and they went into a big speech about that it should be 101 beads because Shiva is a "demi-god," and only Krishna is the true God, and we were in big trouble. This kind of made us smile because we knew we were on our way to visit a manifestation of Shiva, and it seemed so funny to have these people telling us Shiva is a "nobody." We went on our way to India and didnˆt really have time to think about this experience.

At one point with Babaji, we were in New Delhi in the home of one of His devotees. In the living room of this home a large swing was set up next to an air-conditioner. Babaji was sitting in this swing, and he invited us into this room to sit on the couch next to the swing. We were there alone with Him. He asked someone to bring us some lemon water and let us just relax there with Him to recover from the extreme heat of driving from Haldwani with Him at mid-day.

It was very sweet to sit there with Him, and as He was sitting on the swing like a small child, swinging back and forth, we could hear Him softly singing to Himself, with a sweet smile on His face, just loud enough for us to hear: "Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, they are OK too... Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, they are OK too."

Thatˆs when we knew that Babaji knew of our experience in the airport even though we had shared it with no one.

His acceptance of all worshipers of the Divine with no ill will toward othersˆ form of worship is very important. This all-inclusiveness of all who worship the Divine is one of the cornerstones of Babajiˆs teachings. He often said, "Follow the religion that is in your heart. You must find the religion that really resonates with you and it will take you to God. But you must FOLLOW it."

Om Namah Shivaya

Love
Marge